


Sensory Input

by Mjazilem



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Autistic Chirrut, Autistic Coded, Blind Character, Canon Compliant, Disabled Character, Eadu, Echo Box Transmitter, Force Sensitive Chirrut, Hurt/Comfort, If you want - Freeform, M/M, Space Husbands, Spoon Theory, Stimming, Tag, The Force, other Characters in the background - Freeform, spoonie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 13:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9273119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mjazilem/pseuds/Mjazilem
Summary: It's been a very long day for Chirrut and Baze by the time they leave Eadu.   They both deserve some TLC but Chirrut's pushing past his limits and Baze wants to help.Just a tag looking at what it takes to be a disabled badass.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Loved Rogue One! Love Chirrut. Love Chirrut x Baze I'm all for force sensitive, force using Chirrut I just wanted to write a bit about how disability might affect his life in a less obvious way then just not being able to see. I was also intrigued by the Echo Box Transmitter listed in the Rogue One Visual Guide and kind of made up what that could be for. 
> 
> Stimming: short for Self Stimulatory Behavior, a repetitive action or vocalization done by disabled people including the Visually Impaired and Autistic for a variety of reasons including comfort, calming, fun, focusing, self expression etc...  
> In this story Chirrut rocks, twists his hands around his staff and says his prayer repetitively which could all be stimming. 
> 
> Spoonie: a disabled or chronically ill person who uses Spoon theory to explain how they only have so much energy to use in a day. In Short many disabled and chronically ill people have a limited amount of energy they can use to do everything in a day and doing something big can drain all that energy leaving the person unable to perform even basic tasks that abled people take for granted. 
> 
> Autistic Author writing Autistic coded/disabled character

Baze stands over him as Chirrut sits. A position that is so familiar to him. It feels natural to Baze that he should stand watch over his partner as they leave Eadu. 

Chirrut repeats the words like Baze has heard him say nearly every day since they've known one another. 

“The force is with me. I am one with the force.” 

He's trying to meditate but he seems unsettled and he doesn't look at peace. Baze watches his partner rocking slightly back and forth. He rocks gently in time as he continues his mantra. 

It's something Chirrut has done since they were children, rocking back and forth. Baze doesn't know if it's a blind thing or a Chirrut thing or something else. 

He was punished for it when they were training at the temple. It was considered a bad habit and a sign of weakness by the Masters. Chirrut really only does it now when he and Baze are alone or he is too tired to stop himself. 

Like now.

Chirrut rocking on the ship with strangers tells Baze his partner is exhausted. 

Baze certainly knows he is tired himself. The whirlwind of events today has got Baze feeling like his whole life's been turned upside down.

Their temple, their city everything they had tried to protect had been destroyed. It all happened so fast now they were in new surroundings with unfamiliar companions. 

On top of that everything Baze did Chirrut did but working twice as hard to navigate his surroundings and their new compatriots and then of course make it look easy. Baze smiled down at his partner fondly. He was so good at making it look so easy. 

Chirrut grips his staff tight and twisted his hands back and forth as he rocks, sightless blue eyes staring into the distance, mouth moving in the familiar cadence. 

Baze sets a heavy hand on the blind man's shoulder. Chirrut startles and tenses. Not enough that anyone else would notice but Baze knows Chirrut. 

Baze is almost amused, it's rare for him to be able to surprise Chirrut. His better half is usually well attuned to every move he makes. But the sobering reality is that him startling Chirrut is not a good thing but rather something that speaks to how tired Chirrut really is. 

Baze keeps his hand firmly on Chirrut's shoulder and leans down closer to his significant other. “You should get some rest.”

He says it softly and matter of factly hoping that Chirrut will listen and won't be too stubborn, of course that's not how it goes. 

“and you should not?” Chirrut asks back. 

“You first.” Baze insists. 

Chirrut tilts his head slightly towards Baze but keeps himself open to the rest of the ship, his attention touching each person in turn. 

Chirrut is vigilant and always cares too fast for Baze's liking. 

They lost everything but each other today and still Baze knows that Chirrut can't help but empathize and feel what the others are. 

He always takes too much in. It's like he can't help but feel everything. 

Baze has tried over the years to teach Chirrut how to separate himself and protect himself from other's feelings. Let other people's problems roll off his back like water. 

It's something the blind man has never mastered and he often gets lost in the whirlwind of other people's emotions. 

Like he's doing now. 

He's taking them all on Baze knows and that with everything else is taking it's toll. He needs to rest and recenter himself. 

“This is a good time, sleep, we'll be in space a while now and everyone else is settled.”

“are they?” Chirrut pulls his staff close and turns his head left to right as if he could see. 

Baze rolls his eyes and looks around himself. 

The pilot, the young imperial defector looks jumpy and wrings his hands, the young woman looks sad and resigned, neither of them looks like they'll be getting any sleep. The rebel captain is the only one that looks like he's trying to get some sleep but he's not having a good go of it. The droid is watching the ship's controls.

“Yes they are.” Baze lies even though he knows Chirrut will know otherwise. 

Baze gets a look from his partner that he know's mean's 'that's a load of bantha dung.' 

Baze sighs, he knows that Chirrut wants to stay alert. He wants to fulfill his role as guardian, even without the temple or the crystals to protect. 

He needs to learn when to quit and when taking a break for your own sake isn't giving up. 

Stubborn old fool. 

“Have something to drink.” Baze holds his canteen over Chirrut's shoulder trying to help in anyway that Chirrut will let him. 

Usually something as simple as taking something from his partner's hand was no trouble for Chirrut. But currently his world is full of the hum of Jyn's kyber crystal, the buzzing of the ship's boosters, the twitching of Bodhi's leg, the whirl of K2's internal stabilizers, and Cassian's deep conflicted sighing. 

He almost misses the shift of the air near his ear, the slosh of liquid against metal. It registers slowly and he fumbles to get his hand around the container. Then he feels Baze's strong hand guide his own.

Baze's hand lingers over his and he knows he's worrying his partner. 

He tries to smile but it's hard, he's tired and his usual meditation isn't helping right now. 

He curses himself frustrated and confused how one minute he can shoot a TIE fighter out of the sky and the next minute he's hitting a wall, metaphorically...sometime literally, and he can't even do normal everyday things suddenly. 

It was like he'd used all the focus the force would allow that day. 

He takes a drink and holds the canteen up with a shakey hand for Baze to have back. “Thanks.” He tries to sound cheery but it falls flat even to his own ears. 

Baze has seen Chirrut like this before. He exhausted himself to the bone as the temple was taken by the empire. The blind man fought off storm troopers, navigated the rubble, and helped the injured, with skill and grace. Then his finger's weren't be able to find the tie strings to his own robes at the end of the day. 

The only thing that helped was quiet and Baze.

Baze takes the canteen and drinks before coaxing “If you won't sleep at least turn the box off.” 

Baze knows Chirrut still has the Echo Box Transmitter he wears on. It is one of the assistive pieces of tech he used to gage his surroundings. “You don't need it right now, I know you've got a good idea where things are on this ship now. You don't need all that input.” 

Chirrut knows he's right, he probably doesn't need the transmitter right now. 

He honestly hadn't thought about turning it off though. He usually turned it off when he was some place familiar and where he felt relatively comfortable. All that was gone now. 

He believes 'all is as the force wills it' and tries to take comfort in that at least. 

“I'm here, I will keep watch.” Baze assures his husband squeezing his shoulder gently, a silent promise between the two of them. Chirrut shifts in his seat and Baze sits, settling in close so their shoulders touch. 

Chirrut's brain is screaming for him to rest. With Baze close next to him he feels like maybe he can relax, just a little. 

He turns the Echo Box Transmitter off. 

The sudden decrease in stimulation should be a relief. He no longer has to process information about the whole ship and all its occupants but it makes his chest tighten, the quiet is like being cut off, like he was suddenly blind and deaf. 

He automatically starts to reach out to the force. 

He's no jedi and it takes him considerable concentration and strength to sense the information the force can give him. Strength that he doesn't have to spare right now. 

Baze notices the way Chirrut takes rapid breaths and clutches his staff close to his body. “Hey, I'm here.” He puts his arm around Chirrut's shoulders. It's a simple reminder that makes all the difference. 

Chirrut refocuses. He might not be able to hear and sense every thing and movement on the ship but he can feel Baze next to him and that's most important.

Warmth radiates off Baze in the coldness of space. Chirrut can smell the scent of gun oil and hair refresher powder that he associates with his husband. As he breathes in and out more evenly he can hear a rumble in Baze's chest as he begins to hum lowly, something Baze had found years ago that helps calm Chirrut. 

Chirrut relaxes back into Baze ever so slightly. Taking comfort in the fact that his partner is here with him. 

His staff rests on his shoulder. He lets its hum and Baze's fill his senses. It's like a balm for his tired mind. The words start in his head steady and repetitive, then slip softly from his lips. 

“I am one with the force. The force is with me.” 

Baze is content as Chirrut settles in and starts his prayer again. It's not sleep but it's something. Baze holds Chirrut close and keeps watch.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
